Ode to a Toilet

More old writing!

I’m a terrible poet, not that that ever stopped me from trying. Back in my high school days I used to write stupid little poems with my friends Stan and Sam, and these were collected and distributed in a little newsletter called FTG. After digging through some of my old Word documents I discovered some of the crap I wrote back in those days. We all had pseudonyms in the group, and mine was Shakespeare’s Revenge. I thought I was so awesome. Oh, how the past lied to me.

Here’s a little something come back to haunt me. Enjoy.

Ode to a Toilet
By: Shakespeare’s Revenge

Ceramic idle,
Short and proud,
When my work is done
You scream aloud.
You’re there when I need you,
To hug and to sit,
You’re the one that I run to
When I’m full of shit.
So simple yet complex,
A static white girl,
The very essence of man
Down your open mouth swirls.
Oh to be you toilet,
It must be a thrill,
For you’ll see far more ass
Than I ever will.


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