A Song for Nickelback

You know who hasn’t had a monster hit in a while? Nickelback. You remember Nickelback, right? The bland Canadian rock back with oversexed songs that you were horrified to learn your mother sort of enjoyed? Nickelback. What happened to those guys? They were on top of the world around a decade ago. But now, nothing.

Maybe they’ve hit a bit of a rough patch. Writer’s block can be a real pain. So, I’ve decided to help. I’ve gone ahead and written their next hit song for them. I’m no musician, so you’ll have to use your imagination when it comes to hooky riffs and whatnot, but the lyrics are below. They can send me a piece of the royalty pie when it’s done baking.
By the way, the song is called…

Hot Damn (I’m a Godless Man)
A Song for the Band Nickelback
Written by Adam Armour

Me and the boys had just finished a show
And we were backstage with our friends.
The booze was flowin’ and I was barely knowin’
Where I was when this girl walked in.
She was a fine little number, long-legged and blond,
With a body that was hotter than Hell.
And, oh, God bless…she was wearing this dress
That left very little left to sell.

I was just about ready to make my move,
To show that girl a bit of something wild.
When my buddy said, “No, you gotta let that one go
Because that woman is the preacher’s child.”
Now I ain’t ever been a spiritual guy
Unless those spirits led to liver loss.
But right then and there I laid my sins to bare:
I was gonna nail her to my cross.

Chorus:
‘Cause I ain’t never been a man who believes
But, boy, I got faith when she’s down on her knees.
Her daddy may be a man of God
But, hot damn, I’m a godless man.

Hot damn, I’m a godless man.

[Short guitar solo]

I made my way to the foot of her alter
And told her I had something to confess:
“All that I’m sayin’ is I ain’t too big on prayin’
But I’m begging God for you to undress.”

She touched her left cheek and pushed back her hair,
And her neck turned as red as a cherry.
She said, “Don’t be surprised if you end up baptized.
And by the way, my name is Mary.”

Chorus:
‘Cause I ain’t never been a man who believes
But, boy, I got faith when she’s down on her knees.
Her daddy may be a man of God
But, hot damn, I’m a godless man.

Hot damn, I’m a godless man.

All night long, I crucified that girl.
Her lovin’ washed away all my sins.
And after hours inside, my body just died,
But in the morning…well…I rose again.

Chorus:
‘Cause I ain’t never been a man who believes
But, boy, I got faith when she’s down on her knees.
Her daddy may be a man of God
But, hot damn, I’m a godless man.

Hot damn, I’m a godless man

Hot damn, I’m a godless man

[Etc…]

Thanks, Chad.

You’re welcome, Chad.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s