Remember Elmyra from Tiny Toon Adventures? I am essentially that animated little girl.
…which sounds really creepy now that I’m reading back over it. Oh well, no time to backspace. Here’s a new poem. It is called…
Fluffy stuffy little sweet puff,
Who would have thunk you were so tough?
So darn cute who could have ever guessed
You craved the taste of human flesh?
When I reached down to scratch your chin,
You separated bone from skin;
My need to give your rump a scratch,
Left three pink fingers unattached.
And as I rubbed your nose to mine,
You gracefully removed my spine.
Something sadistic’s in your brain…
Addiction to inflicting pain…
I simply cannot understand.
After all, I’m a simple man
Who’d love to squish your fussy face —
A longing that may be off base.
You’re just trying to let me in:
Your tolerance is wearing thin.
My affection has run its course,
You’re telling me by using force.
But there are things I can’t resist;
Irate kittens are on that list.
So I might wind up bleeding out,
Face down in a crimson fount,
Missing a head, arm, leg or two.
But hey, what can a fella do?
Like the forbearer of my name,
Temptation is my secret shame.