Awful Poetry

Let’s just get this out of the way first: I am an awful poet.

I’m just no good at writing poetry, likely because I neither understand nor appreciate what little I read of it. And the kind of poetry I do appreciate is the kind that focuses more on witty rhymes and silly narratives rather than deep, personal, formless expression. Think Shel Silverstein and Dr. Seuss. That’s the kind of stuff I can dig into.

What follows is likely a bit like the works of those aforementioned poets, only…you know…awful.

Cthulhu Briefly Laments His Growing Popularity

Sonnet #3: The Ballad of Slip’ry Sal Umfress

I Really Hate it When My Cat Takes a Shit Right After I’ve Cleaned the Litter Box

Sonnet #2: The Weekday Plea

Sonnet #1: I Guess I’m Writing Sonnets Now

Ode to a Toilet

A Seussian Thing Happened One Night

My Brain

Sauron Rests His Eye

Easy Mistakes

Slow as Christmas

Vader’s Lament

Hot Damn (I’m a Godless Man)

We’ve Got to Go

The More Intelligent Toilet

The Popular Crowd

Rock My Body (A Love Song)

Family Reunion

The Toaster Thief


Mama Dog

* Illustration by M March-Steinman (a favorite poet of mine)


One thought on “Awful Poetry

  1. Pingback: Five-Hundred Words | I'm Trying to Write.

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